I Wonder: Is Motherhood Hereditary? What I Inherited From My Mother

When I thought of motherhood, I never, even in my wildest dreams, had any idea about how challenging it would be.

Today, when I am living motherhood, I realize the countless sacrifices my mother made to raise two children single-handedly.

A mother who never gave up. That’s what a mother is.

A mother will go to any extent to ensure that her children are safe and happy, no matter what she herself is going through.

My mother became a widow at the age of 38. Yet, she withstood all the storms life threw at her. She educated her children, provided everything that was needed for our necessities, and also made sure we had our share of happiness and enjoyment.

I grew up watching her put her children before herself. At that age, I never really understood what those sacrifices meant. They were simply a part of our everyday life. It is only now, after becoming a mother myself, that I understand the strength it must have taken. What I once saw as something normal, I now recognize as extraordinary.

As the daughter of a mother who never gave up, I think I inherited all her traits. And when I became a mother, I found myself becoming the same way, willing to give up anything for the sake of my daughter.

Eight months of complete bed rest was one of the most challenging phases of my life. In what felt like a vegetative state, I relied on reading the Bible and listening to spiritual talks for strength. God rewarded me with a gem, my daughter.

Those eight months taught me something about motherhood even before I actually became a mother. I had to give up my freedom to move around, my normal routine, my travel plans, and many of the things I enjoyed. There were days when even the simplest things felt difficult. But there was always a little life growing inside me, and that gave me a reason to endure it all.

Motherhood comes with sacrifices. Sacrificing your job. Going through physical difficulties. Giving up travel. Putting aside your wishes to save money. And sometimes, simply putting yourself last.

Even today, there are many small sacrifices that nobody notices. You may postpone something you want because your child needs something else. You may save money instead of spending it on yourself. You may cancel a plan because your child is unwell. You may be exhausted and still get up because someone needs you.

Nobody gives you a list of these sacrifices when you become a mother. They simply become a part of life.

And strangely, you don’t always feel that you are sacrificing something. You just do it because your child comes first.

There are days when I look at my daughter and wonder what kind of mother I will be as she grows up. I hope she remembers not the things I bought for her or the places I took her, but the love, protection, and effort behind them. I hope she learns that being a mother does not mean being perfect. It means showing up, again and again, even on the days when you feel like giving up.

Sometimes, I think about my own childhood and the things my mother must have gone through without telling us. Perhaps there were nights when she was worried about our future. Perhaps there were moments when she was scared. Perhaps she too wanted to give up sometimes. But we never saw that side of her.

What we saw was a mother who kept going.

She worked, managed the home, took care of us, and made sure we never felt that we were missing something. She did not have the luxury of putting herself first. Her children were her priority, and somehow, she found the strength to keep moving forward.

Only after becoming a mother did I understand that strength.

Today, when I struggle with something as a mother, I sometimes think of her. I wonder how she managed everything with two children and so many responsibilities. I wonder where she found the courage. And then I realize that perhaps she did not always know how she would manage either. She simply took one day at a time.

That, perhaps, is another thing motherhood teaches you.

You don’t always know what tomorrow will bring. You don’t know how difficult the next phase will be. But you somehow find the strength when you need it.

Maybe that strength is what I inherited from her.

Not money. Not property. Not anything material.

I inherited her ability to keep going.

I inherited her habit of putting her child first. I inherited her patience, her courage, and her willingness to make sacrifices without expecting anything in return.

And now, I see little signs of the same thing happening in me.

Before becoming a mother, I had dreams, plans, and priorities of my own. After becoming a mother, those things did not disappear, but they changed. My daughter became a part of every decision I made. Even when I think about my own future, I think about hers too.

Maybe this is what motherhood does to us.

It changes the way we look at life.

There are moments when I miss the person I was before motherhood. But there are many more moments when I look at my daughter and feel grateful for the person I have become.

I have become stronger.

I have learned patience.

I have learned that love can make you do things you never thought you were capable of.

And I have learned that a mother can survive some of the most difficult situations when she knows that her child needs her.

Maybe motherhood is hereditary, just like any other trait. I know it sounds weird, though.

But perhaps it is not about inheriting motherhood itself. Perhaps it is about inheriting the qualities that make a mother who she is: strength, patience, courage, sacrifice, and, above all, the determination to never give up.

My mother passed those qualities on to me without ever sitting me down and teaching me about them.

She taught me simply by living them.

And I hope I can do the same for my daughter.

I hope that one day, when she becomes a mother, she will look back at me and understand the things she may not understand today.

I hope she sees the sacrifices.

I hope she sees the love behind them.

And I hope she inherits the most important thing of all from me, the ability to never give up.

Just like her grandmother.

Just like her mother.